My Blah of the Week
Ugh. Beyond blah. Bought what I thought was a Team Jacob shirt, but actually a Team Edward. I think I may die with shame.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Scary Movies 101
I am currently home alone, late at night, with weird noises everywhere, so I thought to myself, 'Hey, what a perfect time to write a blog about scary movies!' Genius, right?
So anyways, fact number one about me: I LOVE SCARY MOVIES. I suppose now would be a good time to state that in my eyes, scary movies are not stupid ones like Saw, which just have limbs flying everywhere and make me feel queasy rather than scared. (Although, seriously, if you're going to show me blood and guts, please at least make it believable. That was so porridge and tomato sauce). I mean suspenseful, interesting, terryfying and bloodcurdling* films. I have to be pedantic about this, as they are GORE, not SCARY. Big difference. I mean, four of the letters are different. Gosh.
Okay, time for Miss Moi's list of scary movies (in no particular order, just so they don't feel jealous of eachother)
1. Ju-On - Also know as The Grudge. Seriously, I'm getting the heeby-jeebys just thinking about it. That kid... that face paint... one hell of a night...
Just a note, I must stress that you watch the JAPANESE version of this film. I haven't actually seen the American, but seriously, nothing can be scarier than the Japanese one, so there's no way it can be as good. Oh, and a little warning, I wasn't able to have a shower for two years after watching it. And I watched it a year ago.
2. The Ring, 1 & 2 - I've seen the Japanese and American versions, and they are really really different, but I think I'd have to say I prefer the American, only because it's a little easier to follow. The scariness really revolves around the storyline, and I don't think that's done very well in the Japanese version. And unlike other movies (i.e. The Grudge) the second is as good as the first. Look at me, talking all fancy like!
3. The Village - Creepiness to the extreme. Not as shock factor as the others, but tots good anyways. A bit disturbing as well...
4. The Hours - Very, very, very scary. (As you can see, I'm running out of ways to say this). A good starting one for the night. I actually like Nicole Kidman in this, maybe because she doesn't look as much like an ironing board. That's right, I went there.
5. And last, but not least, Slappy. The original scary movie, the first one I ever watched, as an innocent 6 year old, not yet opened to the world of scary movies. It comes from the Goosebumps series (of which I own everyone) and it has totally put me off dummys. Not that I ever really wanted one, but still. If I did, it would have.
xx Miss Moi
*I just realised I was writing this that 'bloodcurdling' makes beyond no sense. Seriously, who curdles blood? And doesn't stuff curdle when it goes warm? And isn't your blood meant to go cold when you watch scary movies? Hm?
Transformers 2
In a moment of sheer madness I decided to see Transformers 2.
I was genuinely excited. I know. Crazy, right? Why did I ever think I - the absolute hater of action movies and, come to think of it, alien robots - would ever actually like it? Okay, I know sort of know why. The massive poster of Shia LaBeouf at the front of the cinema might have influenced me just an incy tiny bit. But that is beside the point. The point is that I must warn anyone who is considering, as I so innocently did, going to see this film. Yes, Shia is gorgeous and in many of the scenes, but seriously, it is not worth sitting through 3 hours of random action sequences and the most horrible script I have ever seen. Just Google him.
You may think I'm being too harsh, and I probably I am. But seriously. This movies goes for three hours. I felt dumber when I left. We start by seeing a completely random fight scene that lasts for about 15 minutes and leaves me thoroughly confused about what the hell is actually going on. Cue, three teenage boys to my left laughing and telling each other how 'sick' it is. Ah, there's your reason. After this randomness is finished, we cut to Shia getting ready to leave for college, with all the schmaltzy stereotypical parent goodbyes, when, and we've only been stationary for about 3 minutes, little alien robots attack him and set his house on fire. But hey, that happens to me all the time. I mean, only yesterday an alien civilisation asked me to help them. Totally normal. Granted it's not meant to be taken seriously (at least I hope not), but no one seems too worried. His parents talk about how excited they are to go on some trip, and his girlfriend comes over and says her goodbyes and they make out like there isn't a destroyed house and police officers running around them. As you do.
To the movie's credit, there is an attempt at a plot line. But what chance did it really have? Whenever we start to get any dialogue (which is, admittedly, kind of funny at times) there's another battle scene randomly chucked in there for no reason. You can really tell they wanted to show off there super duper CG and make sure they got their buck's worth, but to tell you the truth I was either yawning or feeling a bit motion sick. There's only so many spinning shots you can do in such a short period of time. From the intermitten bits of dialogue, I think the plot had something to do with some war and some government officials, but that's all I got.
Most of the characters seem to be there just to say their one-liner and leave with no background to what they're actually doing there. Australian beauty Isabel Lucas spends about 5 minutes onscreen, in which she is either blatantly cracking on to Shia (every teenage boy's dream) or being an alien robot. What an amazing role. And don't get me started on Megan Fox. Seriously, I love you, but please buy a proper bra if you're going to be running all over an Egyptian desert.
Okay, I have officially had my bitch session. For any teenage boy - the only demographic who might actually be able to sit through this - this is probably a dream come true. But for everyone else, run screaming.
xx Miss Moi
Nine Trailer
I can't wait to see the new movie Nine, released in November. It's directed by the same person as Chicago and stars Fergie, Nicole Kidman, Penélope Cruz, Kate Hudson and Sophia Loren. Need I say more?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O6vvK6XdKQ
xx Miss Moi
New Moon Trailer!
The official New Moon trailer was released at the MTV movie awards - it looks awesome! I can't wait - it comes out on the 20th of November. Twilight received Best Movie, Best Fight, Best Kiss, Breakthrough Male Performance and Female Performance on the night. The poster is equally as cool - Jacob finally got a haircut *swoon*.
Twilight
For those of you who have been living under a rock, Twilight is a series of books that have had teen girls, and those few adults who admit to reading it, going crazy. Late last year I decided to finally read the first installment after much encouragement from my fanpire and twihard friends. Oh. My. God. Sure, it's not mastefully written and you hear a lot avout how perfect Edward's face, smile, eyelashes and nose hair are, but it is ridiculously good. I read it pretty much constantly for the next week. I have to warn you, although you've probably already read it, this stuff is like a drug. It cloud your every waking (and dreaming) moments and makes it ridiculously hard to do just about everything. I scabbed thenext two off friends and the saw the movie as soon as it was available. I'm bow half way thorugh the last one, Breaking Dawn, and read snippets every so often. I have to admit, I'm purposefully trying not to finish it because I think I might go into serious depression when it finishes.
But do I recommend it? To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely sure. I have some major problems with the whole concept. Throughout the entire series Bella, our main character, and Edward continiously tell of their great love for eachother and how it will overcome anything, and Bella goes through a few traumas for this, given they aren't intentional. I may just be reading into it too much, but it seems to me to be sending the message to young girls that 'hey, a guy can hurt you, but as long as he love you, it doesn't matter'.
Well, no matter what I think about it, I should get it out there here and now that I'm not in fact suffering from OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder) but... on Team Jacob! I'm sorry to offend all the thousands of Robert Pattison fans, but my heart will always be with the werewolf... ;)
xx Miss Moi
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