I laugh in inappropriate moments

I think this is about...: , , | at Friday, October 30, 2009

I am not a serious moments kind of gal. I've tried. I have. But serious moments make me cringe, and cringing just  takes the whole seriousness away, so basically we're back to square one.


Have you ever been having an extremely serious conversation with your parents, and you know how serious it is, and the seriousness is flowing through you, and then... you smile. You know as it crosses your lips you've pretty much just signed your death sentence. But you can't make it stop. And before you know what's happening you have this irresistible urge to laugh. And they are staring at you with a thousand daggers, but it stays there and suddenly... you're laughing. It's horrible, it's horrific, and it's true.

I don't know why. There is probably some underlying message in this that I find joy in pain and I'm a future murderer, but I don't know. What I do know is that I hate, completely and utterly, serious and awkward moments. There are so many ways that I find to get out of them. There is the phone flick, in which you fiddle with your phone pretending there is an extremely important, life threatening message embedded somewhere in the phone, which you have to flick around for hours to find. There is the fingernailing biting and/or dumbly staring at the said fingernails, which makes you look cool and detached, until, of course, they start bleeding. Or looking at a painting on the wall, pretending it is the most amazing thing in the entire universe and you could just stare at it for hours, when really, to tell you the truth, it just looks like a couple of dots and few squiggles to me. Or, and this one involves some props so you know we're getting classier, flicking through notes, or even better a bag, you have like you're searching for something. However, this does take some skill as you don't want it too long that you look weird, or too short that it seems like you weren't actually looking for anything. And then you have to do the whole thing at the end like, well, I guess it isn't there, although I totally thought it was. Which is why I was looking. Cough.

Oh, a couple of things before I depart. Firstly, very exciting news everyone. Gather round, gather round. I might be starting a vlog on the Student Edge website early next year with one of my friends, so I will keep you posted on that, and will make sure you check it out *menacing face*. And secondly, Happy Halloween! Go trick-or-treating! And no crappy excuses that you are too old. It's free candy people. You're never too old.

xx Miss Moi


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Lame Excuse, Enter Stage Left

I think this is about...: , | at Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. My teachers have decided to give me ten trillion assignments.


"Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?"



"It's okay, Mom! I haven't done my homework yet."
 
xx Miss Moi

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Hand dryer = :(

I think this is about...: , , | at Friday, October 16, 2009

I have decided to write about the one thing no writer should ever write about... the toilet. However, I think it's an important issue that needs addressing, and any problems with fart jokes, toilet humour, etcetera etcetera, can be put aside for the time being.

I hate hand dryers.

Yes, I said it, I took the plunge that nobody is brave enough to take. I hate them so very very very much. Every time I see one it makes me cringe. Just thinking about them makes me cringe. *cringe*. They are possibly the stupidest things in the history of all things. I mean, come on, we've advanced in technology, science, and lots of other smart stuff, but we continue to have HAND DRYERS stationed in toilets.

Yes, this may be an overreaction. You may be sitting there thinking, 'What is she bashing hand dryers for? What have they done to her?' Well. I will now tell you why I hate them.

1. They never actually dry your hands properly.

Seriously. Blowing air onto something wet doesn't actually dry them very well. Then you end of with partially wet hands, and you shake someone's hand and they go 'ew, you've just come out of the toilet and your hands are wet, that's gross', and it basically totally sucks.

2. You have to stand there awkwardly while other people wait for your hands to dry.

Because of course, you want to avoid the above situation, so you stand there determined to get your hands dry, and people starting queuing behind you and getting pissed off. And then there is a queue of people all staring at your hands, like their combined looking energy will help dry them. So then you end up just leaving and they look at you like, "God, I dry my hands half as long as that are they're actually dry."

3. We have paper towels for god's sake!

I mean seriously, everybody prefers paper towels to hand dryers. You find me one person who doesn't. It is simply laziness to not but them in. It may be worse for the environment, but sanity of the community v. some extra paper towels. You do the math.

Is there something I'm missing? I'm starting to get worried now. Am I the only one who hates hand dryers with a vengeance? Is that how you spell that word? Maybe I am using them wrong. Maybe there's a certain angle you're meant to position your hands that dries them properly. Oh god. I don't know how to use a hand dryer. How am I ever going to pass year 12?

xx Miss Moi

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I Heart Narnia

| at Saturday, October 10, 2009

If you do babysitting, or are contemplating the thought, it's time I got you acquainted with a little friend of mine called Mr CS Lewis.

As a kid, I never really liked Narnia. It seemed so silly, you know, a world in the back of a cupboard. All though, to tell you the truth, I think there was a long forgotten sandwich at the back of my cupboard which was very likely to harbour alien creatures, perhaps even weird man horses.

I watched the movie when it came out, but I think I was a bit too obsessed with the main guy to even notice the plotline. And then the beavers started talking, and it all really went downhill from there.

However, a couple of weeks ago, while looking after a beautiful little boy who would not, under any circumstances, go to sleep, my love affair with Narnia began. I'd chucked it into my bag along with a few other old books I had as a kid, without ever really thinking I'd use. But, as he sat there crying and asking for 'just one more story' (one more story my arse), I found it and decided it was worth a shot. I spent an hour reading this book to him. I even missed Glee. He fell asleep within the first 5 minutes (which is where the real magic is), but I was captivated by this awesome book that we'd always had but I'd never bothered to read.  Mr Tumnus (coolest faun ever), the White Witch (she rocks my world), they are all so very awesome. And (lesson number one) if you read it in a monotone, no kid can resist sleeping.

I went back and watched the movie, but this time I saw it in a different light. It's a beautiful movie, and the set is absolutely breathtaking. It really stays true to the book, and why wouldn't you with such a fantastic story?

It is the most wonderfully magical book and I am ordering you, right now, to go out to that old bookcase, find it and read it. What are you still sitting here reading this for?


xx Miss Moi

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Hi, I'm Miss Moi, and I am a horrible person...

I think this is about...: , | at Monday, October 05, 2009

I must apologise. I am a pretty horrible member of the whole blogging scene. There are so many lovely people who follow me and leave comments and just make me feel like maybe this isn't a complete silly waste of time. But me...

I never comment.

I never follow (apart from Cat, cos I love her blog, and, okay, she was the first person to follow me.)

I check other people's blogs once every blue moon (approx. 2 months).

I do try, though. I go to a blog I like, I write a whole wonderful comment, and then... I don't post it. Don't ask me why.

But I think the number one thing that makes me a horrible person is what I'm doing right now.

I prepost.

Yep, I said it, it's out there. I can't take it back. Today is Thursday Oct 1st, but right now you are reading this on Monday Oct 5th. I go through once a week and write two or three blogs, then I schedule them to post exactly 5 days apart. I know. It's beyond horrible. It's like the number one rule in the blogging rule book.

Number One Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever prepost. Under any circumstances. Ever.

Yep, sad but true. I will try to stop. I promise.

Post options, schedule Oct 5th...

xx Miss Moi

p.s. I must give a big thanks to the two people who actually did the polls... I don't know who you are, but you rock my world.

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