Miss Moi

Chicken Sushi My Arse

I think this is about...: :), cooking, friends, made ya look | at Thursday, November 12, 2009

Have you ever noticed people say some very funny things when they get worked up?

One of my friends was telling me a long winded rant about all of the monstrositys her parents are put her through over the course of her life, ("And don't even get me started on the time she tried to cut my hair. My life has never been the same.") when she came to the latest travesty she had been made to endure.

"And then today, she gives me my lunch, and she's like, oh, here's a treat, I've got you sushi. So I get all excited, right, and I am so pumped for this sushi, right? And then I look at it, and it's tuna. I have told her like ten billion times I hate tuna. But she never listens to me. Every single time we get sushi, I tell her, get me chicken. And you know what she does? She gets me tuna. It's like she never listens to me. Ever."

I couldn't stop laughing for hours, but maybe that's just me. Perhaps tuna sushi is the number one form of neglect in teenage girls? Maybe I'm making fun of a serious issue in today's society? Or maybe my friend is a complete idiot? Tough questions, I know.

xx Miss Moi

I laugh in inappropriate moments

I think this is about...: life, made ya look, moi | at Friday, October 30, 2009

I am not a serious moments kind of gal. I've tried. I have. But serious moments make me cringe, and cringing just takes the whole seriousness away, so basically we're back to square one.

Have you ever been having an extremely serious conversation with your parents, and you know how serious it is, and the seriousness is flowing through you, and then... you smile. You know as it crosses your lips you've pretty much just signed your death sentence. But you can't make it stop. And before you know what's happening you have this irresistible urge to laugh. And they are staring at you with a thousand daggers, but it stays there and suddenly... you're laughing. It's horrible, it's horrific, and it's true.

I don't know why. There is probably some underlying message in this that I find joy in pain and I'm a future murderer, but I don't know. What I do know is that I hate, completely and utterly, serious and awkward moments. There are so many ways that I find to get out of them. There is the phone flick, in which you fiddle with your phone pretending there is an extremely important, life threatening message embedded somewhere in the phone, which you have to flick around for hours to find. There is the fingernailing biting and/or dumbly staring at the said fingernails, which makes you look cool and detached, until, of course, they start bleeding. Or looking at a painting on the wall, pretending it is the most amazing thing in the entire universe and you could just stare at it for hours, when really, to tell you the truth, it just looks like a couple of dots and few squiggles to me. Or, and this one involves some props so you know we're getting classier, flicking through notes, or even better a bag, you have like you're searching for something. However, this does take some skill as you don't want it too long that you look weird, or too short that it seems like you weren't actually looking for anything. And then you have to do the whole thing at the end like, well, I guess it isn't there, although I totally thought it was. Which is why I was looking. Cough.

Oh, a couple of things before I depart. Firstly, very exciting news everyone. Gather round, gather round. I might be starting a vlog on the Student Edge website early next year with one of my friends, so I will keep you posted on that, and will make sure you check it out *menacing face*. And secondly, Happy Halloween! Go trick-or-treating! And no crappy excuses that you are too old. It's free candy people. You're never too old.

xx Miss Moi

Lame Excuse, Enter Stage Left

I think this is about...: life, school | at Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. My teachers have decided to give me ten trillion assignments.

"Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?"

"It's okay, Mom! I haven't done my homework yet."

xx Miss Moi

Hand dryer = :(

I think this is about...: :(, my blah of the week, scary | at Friday, October 16, 2009

I have decided to write about the one thing no writer should ever write about... the toilet. However, I think it's an important issue that needs addressing, and any problems with fart jokes, toilet humour, etcetera etcetera, can be put aside for the time being.

I hate hand dryers.

Yes, I said it, I took the plunge that nobody is brave enough to take. I hate them so very very very much. Every time I see one it makes me cringe. Just thinking about them makes me cringe. *cringe*. They are possibly the stupidest things in the history of all things. I mean, come on, we've advanced in technology, science, and lots of other smart stuff, but we continue to have HAND DRYERS stationed in toilets.

Yes, this may be an overreaction. You may be sitting there thinking, 'What is she bashing hand dryers for? What have they done to her?' Well. I will now tell you why I hate them.

1. They never actually dry your hands properly.

Seriously. Blowing air onto something wet doesn't actually dry them very well. Then you end of with partially wet hands, and you shake someone's hand and they go 'ew, you've just come out of the toilet and your hands are wet, that's gross', and it basically totally sucks.

2. You have to stand there awkwardly while other people wait for your hands to dry.

Because of course, you want to avoid the above situation, so you stand there determined to get your hands dry, and people starting queuing behind you and getting pissed off. And then there is a queue of people all staring at your hands, like their combined looking energy will help dry them. So then you end up just leaving and they look at you like, "God, I dry my hands half as long as that are they're actually dry."

3. We have paper towels for god's sake!

I mean seriously, everybody prefers paper towels to hand dryers. You find me one person who doesn't. It is simply laziness to not but them in. It may be worse for the environment, but sanity of the community v. some extra paper towels. You do the math.

Is there something I'm missing? I'm starting to get worried now. Am I the only one who hates hand dryers with a vengeance? Is that how you spell that word? Maybe I am using them wrong. Maybe there's a certain angle you're meant to position your hands that dries them properly. Oh god. I don't know how to use a hand dryer. How am I ever going to pass year 12?

xx Miss Moi

I Heart Narnia

| at Saturday, October 10, 2009

If you do babysitting, or are contemplating the thought, it's time I got you acquainted with a little friend of mine called Mr CS Lewis.

As a kid, I never really liked Narnia. It seemed so silly, you know, a world in the back of a cupboard. All though, to tell you the truth, I think there was a long forgotten sandwich at the back of my cupboard which was very likely to harbour alien creatures, perhaps even weird man horses.

I watched the movie when it came out, but I think I was a bit too obsessed with the main guy to even notice the plotline. And then the beavers started talking, and it all really went downhill from there.

However, a couple of weeks ago, while looking after a beautiful little boy who would not, under any circumstances, go to sleep, my love affair with Narnia began. I'd chucked it into my bag along with a few other old books I had as a kid, without ever really thinking I'd use. But, as he sat there crying and asking for 'just one more story' (one more story my arse), I found it and decided it was worth a shot. I spent an hour reading this book to him. I even missed Glee. He fell asleep within the first 5 minutes (which is where the real magic is), but I was captivated by this awesome book that we'd always had but I'd never bothered to read. Mr Tumnus (coolest faun ever), the White Witch (she rocks my world), they are all so very awesome. And (lesson number one) if you read it in a monotone, no kid can resist sleeping.

I went back and watched the movie, but this time I saw it in a different light. It's a beautiful movie, and the set is absolutely breathtaking. It really stays true to the book, and why wouldn't you with such a fantastic story?

It is the most wonderfully magical book and I am ordering you, right now, to go out to that old bookcase, find it and read it. What are you still sitting here reading this for?

xx Miss Moi

Hi, I'm Miss Moi, and I am a horrible person...

I think this is about...: moi, thoughts | at Monday, October 05, 2009

I must apologise. I am a pretty horrible member of the whole blogging scene. There are so many lovely people who follow me and leave comments and just make me feel like maybe this isn't a complete silly waste of time. But me...

I never comment.

I never follow (apart from Cat, cos I love her blog, and, okay, she was the first person to follow me.)

I check other people's blogs once every blue moon (approx. 2 months).

I do try, though. I go to a blog I like, I write a whole wonderful comment, and then... I don't post it. Don't ask me why.

But I think the number one thing that makes me a horrible person is what I'm doing right now.

I prepost.

Yep, I said it, it's out there. I can't take it back. Today is Thursday Oct 1st, but right now you are reading this on Monday Oct 5th. I go through once a week and write two or three blogs, then I schedule them to post exactly 5 days apart. I know. It's beyond horrible. It's like the number one rule in the blogging rule book.

Number One Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever prepost. Under any circumstances. Ever.

Yep, sad but true. I will try to stop. I promise.

Post options, schedule Oct 5th...

xx Miss Moi

p.s. I must give a big thanks to the two people who actually did the polls... I don't know who you are, but you rock my world.

| at Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Colorful Rainbow Balloons 114/365
Originally uploaded by Pink Sherbet Photography

xx Miss Moi

My Blah of the Week

I think this is about...: entertainment, movies, my blah of the week | at Monday, September 28, 2009

Ugh. Beyond blah. Bought what I thought was a Team Jacob shirt, but actually a Team Edward. I think I may die with shame.

Attack of the Killer Magpie (sequel to Attack of the Killer Wasp)

I think this is about...: moi, random, scary | at Thursday, September 24, 2009

If you were me, you might get the idea that wild animals kind of hate my guts.

I love animals. I really, really do. From the age of eight to twelve, I wanted to be a vet when I grew up. Then someone told me it involved giving needles, and I decided that maybe a new career path was in order. However, it seems that animals, or, I suppose, wild animals, don't like me very much. For those of you who have been reading for a while you will remember the incident of the Killer Wasp, something that I do not wish to recount *deep breath*. Well, I now have Proof 2 that they are ganging up on me: let me introduce you to THE KILLER MAGPIE.

Let me set the scene for you: beautiful day, riding my bike, sun is shining, wind in my hair, smile on my face. See some birds flying around me, just cruising. Smile with joy at Mother Nature. Yes, people smile at Mother Nature. Birds seem to be flying lower. Just cruising. Now there are two. Flying in kind of circles. Remember that it is mating season. Remember my fear of magpies.

I feel a slight tap on my helmet. "Oh my gosh," I think to myself. "That bird just shat on my head." Slightly disgusted and a little peeved, I start feeling for the poo on my head. Another tap. Those stupid birds keep shitting on me and flying off! That's it, enough is enough, it's time to face these arrogant birds.

Have you ever had a moment where you are so gripped with sheer terror that you kind of freeze? You know something is happening, but it is too thoroughly terryifying to comprehend? It's happened to Harry Potter, it's happened to all of us. Well, as I turned around to face those magpies, I was faced with the most evil looking bird swooping straight for me. I saw, he flew, I freezed, he squaked. We had a bit of a moment, me looking into his black, pitless eyes, him looking at, well, me. Then I broke out of my reverie and realised, Holy Crap, there is a giant bird attacking me and I am sitting here having a moment with it. I put my head down and pedalled. And pedalled. And pedalled. I think I got about 15 kilometres away before I thought it was safe to stop. Did a thorough check for any birds in the area. Hand the brow, wipe, sigh, look cool, and stare at the camera thoughtfully.

For this little number, I can tell you the root of my problems. It would be my brother. Ah, and isn't that the root of them all. When I was 6 years old, I walked to school everyday with my brother, and we had to walk through a wooded type area with massive trees that housed magpies. One day, we saw some magpies flying around and my brother decided to tell me the story of little Bobby. "A couple of years ago," he told me, "there was a little boy called Bobby in the newspaper. He was walking to school one day, just like this one, when this giant killer magpie swooped down and pecked Bobby's eyes out. There was blue goo coming out every where!" I know. What a manipulative little bastard. I'm getting this in writing here so that in twenty years time I can show this to my psychiatrist and she can nod thoughtfully and say, "So this is why you're so freaking messed up!"

xx Miss Moi

Scary Movies 101

I think this is about...: entertainment, lists, movies, scary | at Saturday, September 19, 2009

I am currently home alone, late at night, with weird noises everywhere, so I thought to myself, 'Hey, what a perfect time to write a blog about scary movies!' Genius, right?

So anyways, fact number one about me: I LOVE SCARY MOVIES. I suppose now would be a good time to state that in my eyes, scary movies are not stupid ones like Saw, which just have limbs flying everywhere and make me feel queasy rather than scared. (Although, seriously, if you're going to show me blood and guts, please at least make it believable. That was so porridge and tomato sauce). I mean suspenseful, interesting, terryfying and bloodcurdling* films. I have to be pedantic about this, as they are GORE, not SCARY. Big difference. I mean, four of the letters are different. Gosh.

Okay, time for Miss Moi's list of scary movies (in no particular order, just so they don't feel jealous of eachother)

1. Ju-On - Also know as The Grudge. Seriously, I'm getting the heeby-jeebys just thinking about it. That kid... that face paint... one hell of a night...

Just a note, I must stress that you watch the JAPANESE version of this film. I haven't actually seen the American, but seriously, nothing can be scarier than the Japanese one, so there's no way it can be as good. Oh, and a little warning, I wasn't able to have a shower for two years after watching it. And I watched it a year ago.

2. The Ring, 1 & 2 - I've seen the Japanese and American versions, and they are really really different, but I think I'd have to say I prefer the American, only because it's a little easier to follow. The scariness really revolves around the storyline, and I don't think that's done very well in the Japanese version. And unlike other movies (i.e. The Grudge) the second is as good as the first. Look at me, talking all fancy like!

3. The Village - Creepiness to the extreme. Not as shock factor as the others, but tots good anyways. A bit disturbing as well...

4. The Hours - Very, very, very scary. (As you can see, I'm running out of ways to say this). A good starting one for the night. I actually like Nicole Kidman in this, maybe because she doesn't look as much like an ironing board. That's right, I went there.

5. And last, but not least, Slappy. The original scary movie, the first one I ever watched, as an innocent 6 year old, not yet opened to the world of scary movies. It comes from the Goosebumps series (of which I own everyone) and it has totally put me off dummys. Not that I ever really wanted one, but still. If I did, it would have.

xx Miss Moi

*I just realised I was writing this that 'bloodcurdling' makes beyond no sense. Seriously, who curdles blood? And doesn't stuff curdle when it goes warm? And isn't your blood meant to go cold when you watch scary movies? Hm?

When? Now?

I think this is about...: my blah of the week, thoughts | at Monday, September 14, 2009

Have you ever noticed how when you ask someone the time, they always say, "Now?" 'Tis slightly infuriating and always tempts me to say, "No, in 5 minutes, obviously!"

While on time and my annoyances, do you ever notice when someone looks at the clock and you then ask them what the time is, they always look again. Like, what were you looking at the clock for in the first place? Or do you just have a seriously short attention span?

xx Miss Moi

Running

I think this is about...: life, scary, sports | at Friday, September 11, 2009

I had one bout of running.

It happened last week. It was an average Sunday afternoon, and I was faced with the pile of homework I was kind of of meant to do last week, and decided it was the perfect oppurtunity to start the fitness routine I've been meaning to do for, what is it now, years? Anyway, enough of that, back to my story. So, I went for a run. Not just a 'that was such a big hill, time to sit down' (I say this because that is the majority of my PE class). This was a super duper half hour, continious run, where I ran continiously for half an hour. Oh yeah. That's right.

So I came home totally refreshed and proud of my awesome running skills. Had dinner, avoided homework, went to sleep, etcetera, etcetera. Woke up in the morning and - kablamoo. Complete and utter pain. Like you would not believe. All up and down my legs. As I stepped. Every step. ... Sorry, I just had to take a moment I was reliving the utter PAIN that I had. So burrrrrr, fast forward, rewind, stop, hobbling to school with my friend and trying to act like, hey, this is good, this is fat burning and pure muscle forming! (I think I may have actually pulled something, but anyway). And she asks me, 'Miss Moi, did you stretch?' Silence. Silence. Silence.

Stretch? What is this? I do not stretch. That is what you do in primary school where you fly your arms everywhere and try to hit the other kids. People actually stretch? This is serious news to me. Anyway, I decided not to let this little hiccup get the better of me and went for a SECOND RUN. Note the capital letters, as this is an important part in you realising truly how much of an idiot I am. I mean, you can see the ending already, but no, I of course though I had struck gold. Sigh.

Anyways, got home, put on some deep heat (liquid heaven), did some demented stretches and got back out there! It actually wasn't too bad, the pain had kind of faded, it was a beautiful day, I'm young, free, invincible... Next morning. Oh. My. God. Literally cannot bend my legs. Think they may have to be amputated. Am considering how this will affect my chances at being an olympic runner. May have to give up this fleeting dream. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

xx Miss Moi

I think this is about...: moi, random | at Sunday, September 06, 2009

The way I see it, there are three types of blogs.

1. The Diary Style. Normally daily, just titbits of the authors life. To tell you the truth, it only really works if you have an interesting and awe-inspiring life. Which sadly, I do not. It would mostly involve a lot of complaining about assignments, some stuff about the weather and many mentions of chocolate.

2. The Comment Style. Commenting on current stuff, mostly celebrities, movies, etc. All well and good, but what happens if you don't have a strong opinion on something? What happens if you are interested to see New Moon, but aren't queueing up for the midnight session? Or, yeah, Miley Cyrus pisses you off, but you kind of like her songs?

3. The Funny Style. Just plain hilarity. Completely random things that make you laugh. The last, and possibly the hardest, blog. 'Cos basically, you just need to be freaking funny. Which again, I am not.

And then there's me. Hm. Random writing that I'm not even sure people actually read (although I do have four followers - thankyou so much guys, I think you may be clinically insane, but thankyou!) and I have constant arguments in my head about actually writing. (No, seriously, you think those two little people on your shoulders doesn't actually happen, I have news for you.) (It does.)

I think I've proved my point by writing a blog about writing other blogs. Makes sense, right?

xx Miss Moi

I am a bit muddled...

| at Sunday, September 06, 2009

Yes, I know, I'm a horrible blogger, what am I even writing for, who do I think I am, 2 blogs and then KABLAMOO, nothing for 2 months. But such is life, my sweet. Deal with it.

It Makes You Wonder

I think this is about...: life, moi, thoughts | at Thursday, July 30, 2009

Do you ever have one thing among all the craziness that makes you just step back and go 'wow'. Mine are normally really stupid little things that actually mean nothing but that take me by total surprise.

Example One: Allow me to introduce Person A. Person A enjoys Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Okay, in actual fact Person A is simply a guy at my school, you know the type, never do any work, always mess around and are most likely doing some kind of drugs.

So, as the story goes, I am sitting on a couch in the Library during a free period, quietly minding my own business when KAZAAM! my pencil case and all my other books go flying off my seat. I'm putting the books on my lap away so I can lean down and get it (a massive task as I always seems to have ten billion, after starting off with one...) when Person A, sitting on the couch next to me, leans down and picks them up for me. It literally caught my breath a little. And no, not because we had a Hollywood moment where I look up and he's leaning into me. Just because it was the absolute last thing I expected someone like Person A to do. Maybe snigger to his mates or make some joke about being 'un-co', but never actually help me. And it made me think; would I do the same if it happened to him. Most likely, no. Because I'd written him off as a tool. It made my day.

xx Miss Moi

Chicken Sushi My Arse

I laugh in inappropriate moments

Lame Excuse, Enter Stage Left

Hand dryer = :(

I Heart Narnia

Hi, I'm Miss Moi, and I am a horrible person...

My Blah of the Week

Attack of the Killer Magpie (sequel to Attack of the Killer Wasp)

Scary Movies 101

When? Now?

Running

I am a bit muddled...

It Makes You Wonder

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